Just like clockwork, it happens every year.

We honor the fallen.

War and conflict between nations kill people — there’s no sugar coating it. And the fallen have families — wives, children, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, and future generations — all with a perpetual empty seat at the table.

This weekend every year I honor and remember my biological father, Air Force Captain Gary Bitton.

I’ve been told my dad was liked by many, was a natural leader, and a phenomenal athlete. Booyah! He loved flying but more importantly loved his family. His face would light up when he talked about my mom or us kids. And he knew all the words to ‘Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Poked Dot Bikini.’ Yup. 

When his plane was shot down in South Vietnam, he was the true hero until the very end. He made sure the crew was out before he left the controls.

Do me a favor. Find his name when you visit the massive black Vietnam memorial in DC, bow your head, and simply say ~ thank you. Then after you do that, stay in gratitude for all the blessings that have been bestowed on you.

Second favor is for you to hang your US flag in his honor. And you are welcome to do it more than this ‘holiday.’ Fly it, honor our fallen, and remember.

Why tell the story? Because it’s important to acknowledge that life is wrought with really crappy stuff sometimes. Yet ironically, it’s the crappy stuff that many times makes us stronger, more empathetic, humble, and true.

Instead of focusing on all the ‘things’ you don’t have, try focusing on all the relationships, people, and experiences you have had.

My wish for each of you is to dig down in your stories and tell them out loud. It’s through our stories that we understand and have more compassion for one another. In the end, that is really what life is about — compassion, love, and experiences.

When we share, we learn. When we learn, we are able to be better. When we’re better, we’re better together.

Perhaps it’s through loss and stories that I’ve learned to live more out loud and not shy away from asking questions, being curious, exploring more change and newness with the potential of a failed attempt or odd look. What I know for sure is nothing would be nearly as bad as this so why the heck not?

Today for the first time ever I attended the memorial service held at the national cemetery where my dad rests. How comforting to know that people cared enough to show up to honor and show appreciation for the ones that didn’t make it out alive. #memorialday